It’s Mourning.
I suppose….
When I was younger, I guess I thought it some weird and twisted way that people didn’t die. It wasn’t until I think 1988 & 1990 when I lost two close childhood friends. Even then I didn’t know how to mourn or deal with death. It terrifies me in the most worst way. After they died, I just “mourned” the way I knew how and that was just pretending it didn’t even happen. After that, the person that passed away was Raphi my elementary school lunch monitor. This leads up to a few more personal deaths. My aunt rest her soul, my cousin & 3 h.s. friends. Those dudes in HS were my close friends well, two of them were anyway. I still think about all of them from time to time. Then my grams brothers were passing away back to back. The oldest one died after she did. So now there’s only one grand-uncle left. My grams was the ONLY girl. After my grand-uncle died, my god father died and then my god mom passed on the 17th.
Some got to live full lives, and some well just caught at the wrong place at the wrong time. It’s crazy how life works though. This violence has got to STOP! I’ve lost one too many people that way. The other deaths I can’t really comment on that b/c I don’t know u can’t really argue w/ the all knowing.
Rihanna c’mon now.
Idk about you but this outfit makes me feel like she’s wearing on of those fly off a cliff and float devices. Like the ones in Last Holiday lol.
Change My Life?
I’m kind of in between on this. Have you ever had something that like you WANTED to know about but in a way you really didn’t? Also finding out WOULD benefit you? Thats how I feel. I really don’t want to put my bidness out there like that but it is what it is. I just hope the outcome gives me some seriously needed closure on the whole thing. I’m tired of assuming and thangs. I’ve waited long enough so the extra weeks wouldn’t bother me at all.
What Is Love?
I have only seemed to experience REAL love a few times and I mean that just three times. It took me forever and a day to realize that I’m in love with being IN love. I played around with the L word, using it’s name in vain. I’ve confused lust with the beats of my heart protruding said feelings misguiding me to feel what I thought was love.
Don’t get it twisted I have experienced love and it’s a beautiful thing. In vain and lust doesn’t hold up for long. Lust is temporary and can definately grow INTO something IF and ONLY if it’s real. Otherwise it’ll just stop and whatever u thought u may have had will all of a sudden disgust you.
I do often miss what it felt like. The smiles and blushes. The can’t get you off my mind butterflies and most of all quality time. I keep telling people it’s the little things that count. Romance, conversation, appreciation. Although i have never experienced real romance I know what love is. I do also believe that love can happen and occur with or without romance. Romance keeps love hot and spicy, Some need that to be satisfied. So I would like to know your take on what u think love is and or if you agree or disagree with what was said here today…thanx for reading 
1 love.
Open Letter to my Future love
Dear Future Lover,
I don’t want you to be the perfect girl. I know that’s not possible.
I don’t want to be completed. I just want you to complete me perfectly. That is really the only time I believe in
perfection. I know you may be emotional and have trust issues, we can work through that. I know you may have those days where you just don’t want to be bothered. I’ll give you what you give me and then some. I like hard and love harder it’s just my nature. I promise to be open with you and communicate each and everything with you b/c I strongly believe if we don’t talk, someone else will. I’ve never experienced romance So if I come off a little abrasive bare with me. I’ve never celebrated anniversaries, valentines day nor holidays with a lover before. I would eventually like to know what it feels like . I may have days where I need you and some days when I feel like space is what I need.
I love to laugh and feel appreciated its probably one of the best feelings in the world. When i get sick I do act like a complete baby, I can’t help it lol!
Besides all I have mentioned I do want you to accept me for me. If you can love me at my worst then you deserve me at my best.
Sincerely
Abs.
The Year of the “3′s” ?
So I told myself that this year would have been better than ’08. Just when I told myself that, things kept happening. 2008 was like hell on wheels in every which way. You know what that say though what don’t kill you will only make you stronger.
So I call this the year of the 3′s. For us “Regular” Folk it was. First my grams died….[02.02.09] Then her brother died last month. Yesterday I found out my one and only god father passed away. He was my dad’s people but I loved that man. He was well known by a lot of Jamaicans too. I used to go to his car shop on Clark Street after school sometimes or just randomly show up.
I honestly say I haven’t seen him since we had moved out of the city [it takes forever and a day to get there from here]. Not trying to say that I should be thinking shoulda coulda woulda but I can’t help it. I can’t beat myself up for it. I took it there when my grams passed. I kept thinking what would have been different If I did this or that?
He’s dancing in the sky w/ my grams
They are looking down on us, smiling and feeling loved
It’s kinda hard but life has to go on.
They wouldn’t want us to stop living u get me?
Okay….I think that is it as far as venting…maybe I’ll add more later
thoughts are heavy….
peace.
[Cover Edition #2]
You have to subscribe to this chick….her voice is just AMAZING!
I hate to say it but she makes me like the song if she SUNG this first I’d buy it.
p.s. She also has a twitter [twitter.com/honey_j
